约克大学优质文书分享开篇就谈在大堡礁潜泳的还有谁!

2017年11月10日19:04 来源：小站整理作者：小站留学编辑: 参与（0）阅读（5314）

摘要：英国约克大学是世界百强名校，教学和科研享誉全世界。本文将分享一篇成功申请约克大学生物学专业的优质文书，该文书获得了包括利物浦大学、曼彻斯特大学等五所英国知名高校的青睐。

腐国一直是中国留学生最喜爱的留学目的国之一，这里不仅有闻名遐迩的剑桥、牛津，还有古老的“红砖六校”，享誉全球。而在英格兰约克郡的约克大学，同样是英国顶尖大学，其教学质量与剑桥大学并列教学联盟的首位。下面就与大家分享一篇成功申请该校生物学专业的优质文书。

传送门>>>>>>文书写作个人陈述指导汇总名校范文大礼包砸来!(火速更新中)

专业：生物学

Offer：约克大学利物浦大学曼彻斯特大学纽卡斯尔大学诺丁汉特伦特大学

文书原文：

I think snorkelling in the Great Barrier Reef is the closest thing to magic I’ll ever have the fortune to experience. The fragile coral beneath the majestic manta rays cannot help but provoke massive curiosity into the complex ecosystems and inspire endless wonder for the natural world. This awe drove me towards a desire to study biology at a more in depth level, where questions I’d never even considered could be answered and others left a current mystery, until future research.

This awe prompted me to read ‘Coral: A Pessimist in Paradise’ by Steve Jones, in an endeavour to discover more about the relevance of such ecosystems from a human perspective. I was particularly fascinated by the theoretical immunity to age of some cnidarians due to their use of stem cells for regeneration and repair. I was intrigued by the possibility of using these animals to learn more about the use of stem cells in human medicine, but also made aware of the issues that have been found during current research.

During my AS level biology course topics regarding speciation and evolution have become a great fascination to me, inspiring me to consider the impact, of a constantly changing population of species, on society and the environment, and as a result I decided to read ‘What On Earth Evolved? 100 Species That Changed The World’ by Christopher Lloyd. This book challenged my perceptions of influential species and forced me to look further into the impact of less obvious species, such as the earthworm. The impact of such a creature was one I initially dismissed as insignificant, but in fact, it’s resilience in the face of mass species extinctions is utterly remarkable, yet pales in comparison to its integral role in sustaining human populations, as its soil fertilising abilities have provided human societies with a source of food for thousands of years, making it a hugely important species from the perspective of human survival.

In 2010 I spent a placement week with a reception class at Seaton Infant School. During this work experience I had the opportunity to work one to one with less able children to help aid their mathematical skills and improve their problem solving abilities. Coming up with new approaches to try and convey information and ideas in a fashion that would keep their interest, whilst encouraging them to think around problems logically proved to be a challenging yet rewarding experience, as it provided a valuable insight into different learning methods and techniques.

I have also participated in my school’s debating society, which I feel has greatly developed my public speaking abilities and increased my confidence, whilst allowing me to discuss issues important to me in a constructive and structured manner.

I feel completing the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award had drastically improved my cooperation and communication skills, allowing me to work well within a group and play an integral role in task completion. It also demonstrated the importance of not only self motivation but also group motivation when faced with difficulties within a strenuous task. Learning how to approach issues in an effective and efficient manner whilst maintaining consideration for conflicting ideas has vastly increased both my interpersonal skills and my problem solving abilities, better equipping me for life.

To be able to study a subject that can explain life itself from both a microscopic level and an encompassing perspective is one that I find thoroughly exciting. I would love the opportunity to discover and explore the plethora of biology available to me at university, and have no doubts as to the level of dedication I could bring to the course.

点评：

1. 开篇即成功抓住招生官眼球——在大堡礁潜泳，对珊瑚的着迷引发学习生物的兴趣。这个开头简直不要太完美!

2. 紧接着，申请者谈到了对其产生影响的书籍，着重谈这本书使其对生物世界乃至人类医学产生了新的认识。这是个人陈述常用的手法——谈一本书籍。当你对这本书有足够深刻的见解和认识，建议使用，否则可能会给自己挖坑哦。

3. 除了专业学习，申请者谈到了自己的志愿工作、参加学校辩论社以及在一项活动中的获奖经历。申请者谈自己在工作中的具体作用，以及从中获得的收获，尤其是在团队合作能力、沟通交流能力上的提高。

4. 需要注意的是，在谈到“the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award”时，申请者可以简略介绍下，以免招生官不了解。申请者在描述工作经验和课外活动时，文字间的真实情感流露并不多。招生官希望从具体的活动中去了解申请者的个人成长变化，而非简单的有关能力的形容词语的直接堆砌。