爱丁堡大学优质文书范文已到货 注意签收啦
- 2017年11月02日17:53 来源：小站整理作者：小站留学编辑
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作为英国最古老的大学之一，爱丁堡大学产生过25名诺贝尔奖获得者,达尔文、大卫·休谟、亚当·斯密、麦克斯韦、亚当·弗格森、詹姆斯·莫里斯以及英国前首相温斯顿·丘吉尔等诸多名家均曾在爱丁堡学习或从事研究。在这所深藏各种大牛的高校中，招生官更青睐什么样的学生?在成百上千的文书中，他们pick出的那一份有着什么内容?一起来欣赏一份斩获五所高校offer的优质文书范文。
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专业：计算机科学
Offer：爱丁堡大学 格拉斯哥大学 萨里大学 纽约大学 南安普顿大学
评分：五星
When a friend asked me: "Why do you like computer science?" I found myself unable to give an answer. However, from that moment on, I tried to understand what makes computer science so attractive for me.
评：个人陈述第一段很关键，决定了招生官对你的第一印象。申请者以问句入文，并形成全文的中心问题——计算机科学为什么吸引我。
My passion for computer science started in the 9th grade, when I started studying it as part of the intensive informatics curriculum in my high school. What struck me at first was the immense processing power that I had at my disposal by means of the computer, but it took a while for me to discover that this power was insufficient for trivial algorithms. This made me want to know more, so I bought "Introduction to Algorithms" by Thomas H. Cormen. This book presented me with a completely new world, the world of algorithms. In addition to this, I learned a lot of new aspects of this field and I practically decided that computer science is what I wanted to do further on. That's how it all started.
评：承接第一段，申请者通过回忆小学学习来解答这个问题，讲述如何与计算机科学结缘，比较自然。
In the academic year 2006-2007, I participated in an excellence course on the subject of computer science. This made me gain experience, on one hand in informatics, and on the other hand in social relations. I learned to be more creative, to listen to other people's opinions and I developed my communication abilities, along with improving my skills in programming. Moreover, I participated in many national contests where I faced new challenges and where I learned more about this field. In 2007, I received first place at the National Informatics Olympiad bynet, which gave me the opportunity to take part at the national informatics team selection. In the same year I also won second place at the National Contest "Grigore Moisil".
评：进一步，申请者谈了自己在计算机科学上的学习经历，展示了自身的学术成绩，并举了在国家信息学奥林匹亚竞赛等赛事中获得了第一、二名的例子。一两个例子恰到好处表现了学术能力，塑造了自信好学的个人形象。
One of my best experiences worth mentioning took place during May-August 2008, when I worked as a volunteer at the SNAC Romania association. Along with a graphics designer and a logopedist, I developed educational software for children with disabilities (dyslalia, dyslexia, late speaking), the programming aspect being realized entirely by me. The software was made entirely in C++, using the SDL library (http://libsdl.org), and consisted of over 15000 lines of code. This experience helped me understand how a project must be managed, how to respect deadlines and how to improve my computer science abilities.
评：接着重点谈最受影响的例子——在SNAC罗马尼亚协会做志愿的日子。注意：涉及专有名词，第一次在文中提到因以全称展现，要是能加简短介绍就更好了。“和一名图形设计师和一名语言学者一起，我开发了针对残疾儿童的教育软件(dyslalia、诵读困难、后期演讲)，编程方面完全由我来实现。”这个志愿活动不仅展现了申请者的人格魅力，同时与个人专业相结合，运用专业做了实事，这是非常受招生官重视的关键点。对于这个例子，申请者阐述地非常有说服力，最后还谈了个人收获，简洁充实，童靴们可以好好体会一下。
Apart from my interest in computer science and my study preoccupation, I also give my spare time an important role, because it is the only occasion for me to relax. Music is one of my biggest passions, and that is why, in the 9th grade, I started playing drums. By choosing drums as an instrument, I discovered that I prefer order and rhythmicity, and I also discovered that I tend to keep a strict order in everything I do. When it comes to sports, I prefer swimming as much as I can, because it improves my self-control and is benefic for my health and spirit. In addition to this, during weekends and vacations, I practice alpinism, as I consider that it gives me the occasion to face and handle extreme situations. I recently conquered the highest peak in Romania, Mount Moldoveanu (2544 m). I also participated at a first-aid national contest organized by the Red Cross Romania, which gave me the opportunity to be the leader of a rescue team. This helped me understand better how to face critical situations and improve my leadership skills.
评：在文章倒数第二段，申请者安排了自己的业余活动。打鼓和游泳，申请者在音乐艺术和体育方面都有涉及，且分别谈了对个人的影响。更进一步，申请者突出了自己的一些独特活动，比如征服罗马尼亚最高峰、参加罗马尼亚红十字会，并提到了爱心、团队领导力等关键词。
I often think that computer science will give me the chance to reach higher peaks, and I really consider that it has already helped me see life in a different way. Programming gave me the chance to help many children with special needs, to meet interesting people, to discover a new world. That is exactly why I would like to study and follow a career in this field.
评：个人陈述最后一段可以用来补充上文没有提到的内容板块，也可以拿来做总结。这篇文章最后强调了对计算机科学的热爱，并将其比喻成要去攀登的另一座高峰，申请者甚至上升到了一个更有意义的高度——用这一专业去帮助他人。这对上文也做出了非常好的总结，也向招生官展示了一个对这一专业和未来世界充满希冀的学生形象。
个人陈述是申请材料中最为重要的部分，它是申请者与招生官直接对话的媒介，薄薄的一两张纸如何向招生官展示一个既有较强学术能力又有多样才能的优秀学生形象，这里面的学问很多，也希望各位童靴认真对待，多看范文，汲取营养，不断优化自己的个人陈述啦。
